The Devil Makes Work For Idle Thumbs
by Maths Is Immortal
Summary: Quil and Embry are bored, and their sleepy little town has little to keep them amused. What are two teenage werewolves to do? The Cullens are about to find out. Practical jokes and mischief ensue! K to be safe.
1. The Devil Makes Work For Idle Thumbs

A/N: My first Twilight fic, so please be gentle! Sorry if I haven't got the characters right just yet. Comments and advice would be greatly appreciated- I have some ideas for future chapters, so let me know if you think I should continue!

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Chapter One: The Devil Makes Work for Idle Thumbs

_Inspired by my brother and his best friend, who had the 'post box idea'._

It was an uncommonly warm day in Forks, though the dreary, grey clouds refused to leave. Quil lounged across Embry's bed staring at the ceiling, while the owner sat cross-legged on the floor trying to persuade a stray ant to crawl onto his hand. The ant was having none of this, and the teenage werewolf eventually gave up.

"Quil, we need something to do." Embry leant back against the wardrobe and sighed.

"Agreed. What is there in this town, anyway? There are no leeches to exterminate since we're not allowed after the Cullens, we went to the cinema yesterday, and there's only so much shopping one man can do."

Embry thought about this for a while.

"Well... we don't need to 'go after' the vampires to have fun, now do we? Sure, we're not allowed to hurt them, but there's nothing to say we can't, you know, _wind them up a bit_..."

A smile played across Quil's face, and he sat up on the bed, swivelling round to look at Embry.

"What do you have in mind?"

oOo

The cunning pair peered around the corner of the old office building opposite the hospital. Embry glanced at his watch quickly.

"He should be out any minute now."

After waiting a few seconds their faces lit up as they saw Carlisle make his way wearily down the steps and turn towards the parking lot. As he was walking past the post box set into the wall of the hospital, Quil lifted the walkie-talkie to his mouth. He put on a high, child-like voice as he began to speak.

"Help!"

Carlisle stopped and looked around hurriedly. Embry and Quil grinned at each other broadly, and Quil spoke into the device once again.

"Help! He locked me in! The postman locked me in!"

Carlisle jumped round and looked at the post box. "H-hello?"

"I'm in here! Help, I can't breathe!"

Carlisle looked around once again. "In the post box?"

"Yes! When he came to collect the mail the postman locked me in! He said I should have put a stamp on my letter, and that he'd teach me a lesson!"

"Oh, God; just- just hold tight, I'll get you out!"

The concerned vampire glanced quickly towards the car park and the entrance of the hospital, and seeing that no one was around he moved towards the box. He gripped the slit and the bottom of the cover and heaved, pulling the front of the post box from the wall in one swift movement. Plaster crumbled around the edges and, as the dust cleared, Carlisle peered inside the box. At the bottom was a walkie-talkie, through which he could hear great barks of laughter as Quil and Embry made an unnaturally quick get-away.


	2. All That Glitters Is Not Gold

A/N: Thanks to the reviewers last chapter! Once again, any advice or general comments are greatly appreciated! I wasn't too happy with this chapter- I had the idea of the prank in my head, but it didn't come across too well on paper, I think. Anyway, let me know what you think! This time poor Edward's in for it... Also,

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Chapter Two: All That Glitters Is Not Gold

Embry's father walked through the front door and froze. The door to the living room was open, and he could see Quil and Embry sitting passively on the couch. _Watching the news._

"-Police are urging anyone who has seen or heard anything to come forward as soon as possible. Now we join Eliza Goddard for the weather-"

At this Quil nudged Embry and they sat forward attentively, eyes glued to the screen. _Is the weather girl pretty or something?_

"Tomorrow shall once again be overcast, with showers in the early morning. Wednesday, however, should be clear and sunny."

The boys jumped off the couch with a joyous cry, before hugging happily.

"Are you boys ok?" Embry's father chuckled as they leapt apart from each other at the sound of his voice.

"It's going to be clear and sunny on Wednesday, sir." Quil grinned. "It's not often we get such good luck with the weather."

Embry's father sighed, still suspicious but with no idea what they were up to. "Well, you boys make the most of it, then. Just make sure you're homework gets done!"

"Sure, sure!" They replied in unison, with identical mischievous grins.

oOo

Tuesday seemed to last forever for the impatient werewolves, but Wednesday finally arrived. Embry charged down the stairs to get the door as Quil arrived at just after nine o'clock in the morning. The sun was already bright, and the two teenagers made their way upstairs in a hurry.

When inside Embry's room, they locked the door and emptied out the drawer in the table beside his bed. Sorting through the contents, they took the face paints and make-up that they'd been stashing away over the past week.

After carefully applying the pale face powder and glittery face paints, as well as a particularly foul smelling perfume, they crept downstairs and out the front door. Pausing for a moment to survey their handiwork in the sun, they grinned and began to run towards Jacob's house.

oOo

When Quil and Embry reached the Black residence, they ran straight to Jacob's garage and started shouting.

"Jake! He- he turned us! That bloody leech turned us!"

Hurrying outside to see what the fuss was about, Jacob froze. Before him stood Quil and Embry, but not as he knew them. They looked gaunt and pale, and glittered in the strong sunlight. Jacob's nose wrinkled as he smelt them from feet away.

"Edward- he bit us, Jake!" Quil cried shakily. "What do we do?"

"Why would he bite you?" Jacob queried.

"We saw him in town, and heard him talking to that big one, Emmett. He was going to turn Bella, so we went to stop him, but he- he..."

Jacob's eyes hardened and he leapt onto his motorbike, speeding off towards the Cullen house, leaving Quil and Embry grinning in his yard.

oOo

At the Cullen household, Edward stopped playing the piano abruptly as he heard the tires on the drive and the growling engine. It didn't sound like one belonging to any of his siblings, and they would be hunting all day anyway. It skidded to a halt, and he realised that it was a motorbike. The topaz-eyed vampire sniffed the air cautiously. _Jacob?_ His suspicions were realised as the door slammed open and the huge teenager turned to glare at him

"You better start talking. Fast."

Edward gulped, and read the Jacob's thoughts; he saw Quil and Embry glittering in the strong sunlight, telling him that he, Edward, had turned them! Realisation dawned as Jacob tackled him to the floor.

_Bloody wolves!_


	3. Gravy, Baby!

A/N: Thanks for all of the kind reviews; they're all really encouraging! Hope that you enjoy this chapter, too. Not sure if Quil has a sister, but I figured 'why not?'

Also, thanks to TeamVampire for pointing out that I mentioned Embry's father in the last chapter when he is unknown (sorry- meant to put _Quil's_ Dad) and that Carlisle would probably have been able to tell if there was a person trapped in the mailbox. I was thinking about that when I wrote it, but just couldn't see a way around it; it's kinda hard to prank vampires! I've tried to cover all the bases in this one, but please just suspend your disbelief if I've missed anything!

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Chapter Three: Gravy, Baby!

Quil's living room was silent, except for the soft slap of cards being placed on a table. Quil and Embry sat opposite one another, looks of intense concentration on their faces. The pace quickened, and their eyes never left the table. Suddenly, both boys erupted from their seats, slamming their hands down on the surface.

"SNAP!" They cried in unison.

"Ha, loser!"

"Huh? I totally got their first!"

"You were miles behind me-"

They both froze at the sound of Jacob's motorbike speeding towards the house, before scrambling over the back of the couch opposite the door. Jacob burst through it half a minute later, growling. He glanced around the room, before his eyes returned to the sofa.

"Guys, I can _hear you breathing_. Do you really think that hiding behind a couch will fool me?"

The two wolves looked at each other, panicking, then Embry put on a high, girl's voice.

"Um, who on Earth are you talking to? There are no guys here! Just my sister and her friend, having a slumber party!"

"Just 'your sister'?"

"Um, I mean, just me, Quil's sister... and _my_ friend."

"Just come out, guys."

The pair stood up, looking sheepish. They mumbled a quietly, and Jacob could just about distinguish 'sorry'.

"Why on Earth did you trick me like that? Bella's gonna be so mad about me beating up her bloodsucker!"

Quil and Embry exchanged a swift glance, and the latter spoke up first.

"Well, we've been so _bored_ lately, and we were fed up of not being able to do anything about the leeches up the road..."

"... So, when we realised that there was nothing to say that we couldn't bug them a bit, we made it our duty to wind the up as much as possible..."

Between them, they explained their pranks to Jacob, who smiled more and more as their speech went on.

"So, you were pranking Edward, not me?" the shape shifter inquired.

"Of course!"

"Well, I'll let you off, then- on one condition!" The faces of the two boys lit up and became wary again in the space of a few seconds. They glanced cautiously at each other once again.

"What's that?"

"That blond chick's so full of herself, and it _really_ bugs me; make sure that your next prank is on her!"

"Sure thing, boss!" Quil and Embry sighed in relief. The latter started to chuckle. "May we enrol your help, though?"

oOo

Alice paced the room, nervously.

"I hate this! I haven't been able to see a thing about this morning all week, and I bet those wolves are behind it!"

Jasper sent a wave of calm over her, and she smiled at him weakly. After a couple of minutes, Jacob's motorbike came into view, and he leapt off, taking something from the back before striding up to the door.

Edward growled softly and opened it as Jacob raised his fist to knock.

"What are you doing back here? Didn't think you'd have the nerve when there were more of us and you'd lost the element of surprise."

The shape-shifter looked sheepish, and brought a bunch of flowers from behind his back, staring at the ground.

"Actually, I came to say sorry." Edward stood in a stunned silence, holding the bouquet of pink carnations with his mouth slightly open. Jacob took the opportunity to continue. "I acted on false information, and was wrong to act so rashly. I assure you I had Bella's best interest at heart."

Carlisle voice floated from the lounge. "Aren't you going to invite him in, Edward?"

Edward half turned, mouth still open. "Um, sure. Oh, uh, come in, Jacob."

Jacob smiled innocently and entered the lounge.

"I brought 'singstar', if you want to play!" Alice jumped up, grinning.

Meanwhile, Quil and Embry returned to their human forms in the woods outside the house and quickly donned their shorts. Nodding to one another, they crept up to the Cullens' home. The sound of Jacob 'singing' at the top of his lungs was clearly audible from the other side of the house and the two teenagers grinned.

"Doubt even the leeches'll hear anything over that racket." Embry whispered, as he gave Quil a boost onto the garage roof. After helping up his companion, Quil slid the upstairs window open and squeezed through, followed shortly by Embry. It didn't take long to locate Rosalie and Emmett's room and creep into the ensuite bathroom.

The cunning duo unscrewed the showerhead and placed a small, brown cube behind it. Replacing it a little too hastily, Embry dropped the screwdriver and it fell to the floor with a small 'bump'. The two boys froze.

Downstairs, Jacob's breath hitched as the vampires' heads turned to the ceiling. _Quick, Jake, think!_ Casting a nervous glance around him, Jacob started singing even more loudly and off-key than before.

Quil and Embry tightened the remaining screws and made a hasty retreat back into the forest.

In the living room, Jacob's song ended, and Rosalie hastily stepped up to take the next.

"May I use your bathroom, please?" Jacob asked Emmett.

"Oh, sure; I forgot people actually _use _toilets! Upstairs, on the right."

"Thanks, mate," replied Jacob, and he set off upstairs, focusing on keeping his mind blank and his emotions passive.

A few minutes later, he returned to the lounge where the Cullens were obtaining perfect scores on the game that he'd brought.

"This house is huge! I got totally lost upstairs; it took me three attempts to find the bathroom, just so you don't panic when you smell wolf up there!"

Jacob returned to La Push an hour later, and drove straight to Embry's house where his two friends were waiting.

"They completely fell for it! An Oxo cube in the showerhead? I have to give it to you, you guys are geniuses!"

"Well, we don't like to boast, but yeah. We are. I only wish we could see Blondie's face when she has her morning shower…"


End file.
